Well, I’m not sure what the hell Loogie’s bitchin’ about, but this week rocked! I rocked! This week rocked! Ol’ Pentium2 rocked! TFC rocked! Doom Legacy rocked! And…and…well, that’s it. I was doing great earlier in the week with TFC, but ended the week about even (kills/death). I’ll have a complete big-ass page for TFC screens by next month, so you can see how much I kick ass. I would also like to announce that I am the “Sewer King of Hunted”! 9 kills this week just from taking my normal HWGuy shortcut through the sewer from the street to the alley. Check out the screenshot I used for this month’s column: “The Ultimate Guide to TFC pt.1”.

As for my Doom WAD project, Marines; it won’t be released until July. I might give it to you sooner, if you ask nice. Marines is only for Legacy and it’s features include: 4 new weapons, new music, new sounds, a totally outdoor gaming area, and great multiplayer abilities, especially DeathMatch 3.0 (great sniper and gun nest positions). It only has one map so far, but I am building a 2nd currently and a third may be in the works.

TFC, Doom…what else did I do? I KICKED LOOGIE’S ASS AT “MS LINKS 2000”, THAT’S WHAT!!! Sure, he has his dicky excuses, but what kind of dumbass shoots a 5-Wood down a long fairway without aiming and ending up conceding with +12 on the first hole. I finished 5-up, with an excellent chip in for birdie on hole 4. And by the way, he doesn’t own a golf course; he just has a gay fetish for old people in Arizona.

I am the “Sewer King of Hunted”!!!

TFC has taken over my life (well, as far as the computer is concerned)! I sometimes forget that there is actually a single-player mode to it, called Half-Life! TFC in the morning, TFC in the evening. I’ve probably played about 15 hours of TFC this week. I still basically suck, but I get a kickass kill every now and then. I am usually an engineer- it gives me so much power building sentry guns! And that kill Snake was talking about was pretty good… but he left something out- I killed him with a grenade and then immediately got another guy with my shotgun! As much as I like the HWGuy’s assault cannon, he’s just too damn slow! I prefer a good old engy, soldier, or spy any day.

I have also been whipping out some Doom2, of course. I have been concentrating on HacX, Marines, and Slaughterhouse custom WADs. Slaughterhouse comes with one new map but has no enemies. I have been fixing that. It just has too good sounds and graphics to pass up. But, mainly, I’ve been playing Marines. It’s short but good. To go along with the FPS swing, I also eliminated some blue-blooded Nazis in Wolfenstein.

Due to boredom, I almost played Multiplayer Diablo on battle.net then stopped, remembering that it SUCKS! Instead, I played some DX-Ball2 (it seems futile to ever finish it) and Solitaire (I said I was bored, okay?).

I haven’t gotten my RAM yet, but I’m sure that it won’t work on my crappo-rama PC either.
Notice that we never mention The Sims anymore?

Oh…what to say, what to say? Well, you know what I’m going to say; TFC and Doom2. I’ve been playing a lot of custom WADs for Doom2 lately: HacX, Star Wars, Star Trek, and a really good one called Marines, which I’m refurbishing for Legacy. On the TFC side, I mostly sucked! Except for Wednesday’s carnage, I usually had more deaths than kills. Loogie even got me with a norm-grenade (a stroke of luck, it bounced off one of his team members whom I was trying to knife [I was a Spy] and hit me by accident, sending my gibs across “rock2”) on Friday (I was really sleepy that day).
In between the usual, I’ve been playing Jezzball and some Wolfenstein. I’m just really pissed right now!!! My computer won’t recognize the 64MB of RAM I installed and I can’t think straight in result. Enjoy your faster, expensive systems…

Anybody want some RAM? $45?

Ok, first of all, I don’t see why Snake is obsessing so much about TFC. “Team S&L” only had one TFC fest this week, and most of the time, Snake is either playing Doom2 or doing something on the PC that’s not a game. Anyway, our TFC fest was pretty fun. I used to be a “Llama,” but now I have become more skilled at it. I saved a group of my dudes on the battlements in one game by waxing a hostile right in the back! TFC is as fun as watching my student teacher in P.E. get knocked unconscious by a basketball!

I have also been playing “Beyond Wolfenstein 2,” a very fun game indeed. You can get the full version at www.download.com. I mean, what do you except, the game’s 10 years old! We both keep getting older and older games (Doom, now this). I don’t know why we do it, but, don’t worry, we won’t start playing Pong. Of course, Doom2 has been pumping carnage through my house too, especially with the add-on, HacX (also at www.download.com). HacX has new levels, new monsters, new weapons, and new map elements. I highly recommend playing it on Doom Legacy Launcher.

To conclude my jam-packed week of gaming, I played some DX-Ball2 (I got to level 21 [out of 25 (in the bought board pack)] in Searching For Bucephalas twice) and finished up my cool level that I made, “Enigma,” for Chip’s Challenge (which, along with 24 others, will soon be available for download on the Custom Games page).
“#$%*! Died again on level 21! #$%*!”

TFC! TFC! TFC! (for the non-educated, that stands for Team Fortress Classic) TFC! TFC! TFC! You guessed it, I’ve been playing more TFC. Remember how I said that The Sims was incredibly addictive? Scratch that. TFC is more addictive than every game that I can think of right now (which is about 6 [it’s 1am, what do you expect?]). I can’t remember exactly how much TFC I played, but I will give you the Highlights from “Team S&L’s” Saturday Night TFC Fest!(which also includes gandalf). I rocked, gandalf was doing ok (he had some good sentry placements, even got me once or twice), and Loogie, the Llama, sucked (had about 3 kills). I played as spy (killed Loogie multiple times in the water of “Rock2” [30-35 kills]), gandalf was an engy (killed a lot on “well” and “2fort” with his sentry [20-25 kills]), and as mentioned before Loogie sucked bad (got a few guys as a soldier [3 kills]) In case you’re wondering, we played on the “[DX] SECS TFC #1 v4016” server; it hosts up to 16 players.

Moving on, I also played MS Links 2000 demo (I’ll have the review up soon), Jezzball (level 11!), some other stuff, and, of course, Doom2.

Gandalf: “Alan, you dumbass! You let Snake stab you in the water!”

Pretty much the same as last week. I’ve been playing DX-Ball and The Sims, but I have also been playing TFC and Chip’s Challenge. My favorite “Hunted” map is CityHunted. I am getting better at TFC. It’s strange, but Half-Life usually shuts down when I do something (well, after I formatted my HDD, at least), but TFC runs very smoothly. I have been working on Snake and I’s Chip’s Challenge level pack, too. I may get another DX-Ball board pack in a couple of months.
“Try to climb down my ladder, do ya? BOOM!”